Indignity Endured
by Anna Lane
Summary: Altered events - Rey is Kylo's prisoner for a longer period of time than in Force Awakens. There are...certain items women tend to need each month. One shot.


"What is it?" The mask made the question cold. She hated when he wore the mask and she knew that's why he did it.

Rey's brows drew down. "Nothing." It was the same answer she gave to most of his questions, nothing. Give nothing to him.

He'd held her captive nearing on two months. Questioning her about the droid, about the map to Luke Skywalker, about Han Solo, about the resistance. About other things...herself sometimes. Those were the worst. The ones about her childhood and parents and life on Jakku. The hardest questions for her to lie about. He read her so well, cut into her with his eyes when the mask was off. With his voice when the mask was on.

"I know when you're lying," he said after a brief pause.

She looked at him. A part of her wanted to be defiant and a part of her didn't want to give him another piece of her. He had so much already. Her mouth parted, but she couldn't say the words.

"Are you ready?" He asked suddenly, changing tactics.

She wasn't dressed for it. He could plainly see that. She glanced around her cell. It was more of a room, really. She had a bed now, and more than one set of clothes. Some to fight in, some to sleep in, some just for nothing it seemed. After complaining about boredom, he'd even given her a few thick books. It was more than she'd ever had in her life, but she always remembered that she was still a prisoner. "I can't today."

The way he moved his head, the way his gloved fingers tightened...she knew his eyes would have narrowed beneath the mask. The last time she'd gotten out of their strange training sessions she'd spent her free time trying to escape. Mind manipulation had been the first thing he exposed her to and one of the first things she'd picked up on. It had been almost easy to manipulate the stormtrooper guarding her cell. She found her way to the docking bay where the cruiseres were located, but with no help, Kylo had incapacitated her easily. A wave of his hand and she'd lost consciousness again. It was starting to irritate her when he did that, flaunted his power and skill and training before her. She already knew he'd had everything more than her, everything more in the world and still he'd given it up...for what? A legacy? She'd learned that much when she went on the offensive while he was in her head. Although that time, when he'd quieted her mind to carry her back to her cell, it hadn't lasted long. She drifted in and out, here and there while she was in his arms. He was warmer than she expected. He set her more softly on the bed than she would have guessed.

She could feel his anger in that moment. But he thought she was asleep and he was gentle. His mind was the least guarded she'd ever felt, almost leaking his thoughts. _Ben._ She found his name and he stiffened, as if he'd heard her thoughts. Her eyes fluttered open for a second, but she couldn't find his face. The mask. She fell asleep again and she was alone when she woke. And her stormtrooper guards who'd guarded her new cell had been replaced by droids and tech.

She still wasn't sure why he was taking the time to train her, to test her, to _teach_ her. It was time for another session. They fought with staffs sometimes, their minds others. He never let her touch a saber and he hadn't used one on her again.

"Tell me," he demanded.

She was back in the moment. "No," she answered, feeling defiant and embarrassed all at once.

"I can take it from you." His hand lifted and stopped before touching her neck. Maybe he'd wanted to choke her. Maybe he remembered he could do that with his mind.

She swallowed and fought the desire to step back, to step further from his reach. The truth was she hadn't lived this well in all the years she could recall. The room, the bed, the clothes, the _food._ More than one meal a day and larger portions than she ever could have dreamed. It actually wasn't bad, either. They fed the troopers well and she had their fare. It was cold on the ship, colder even than the desert at night. But she had blankets now and she slept well, too, for the most part. When she didn't dream about him and their fighting and his questions.

Being healthy had its own set of problems it seemed. Another spasm made her nearly double over, though she tried to hide it.

Kylo stepped forward, the hand reaching out seemed less threatening. "You're in pain."

It was almost an accusation.

"I'm fine," she ground out. But in reality she wanted to go back to bed. Did not want to fight with Kylo today. She could, she knew she could. She was strong and pain could be motivating, he'd taught her that. But then she'd wonder if the makeshift padding would slip or slide, if she'd bleed and he'd see. It wasn't a problem she had to deal with often on Jakku. She'd been malnourished, dehydrated, living in harsh conditions. Her monthly cycle was hardly a cycle at all and more often than not it simply never came. When it did, it was a harsh brown stain there and gone. Now, her blood flowed fresh and red and healthy. It was infuriating.

She glared at her masked captor and he titled his head. He was standing too close. She felt crowded, as she often did when he invaded her mind, her space.

"I sense renewed defiance in you, new anger." He sounded pleased. He sounded _amused_.

Her hand shot out and he flew back a few steps, caught off guard. "Get. Out. Of my face." If she could have slammed the door, she would have. Unfortunately, prisoners don't often get a say in when their doors open and close. She panted from the effort and her pain.

He stood there for a moment – she could feel his surprise – before he strode back into her cell room. She raised her hand to knock him in that stupid helmet, but he caught her arm in a vise-like grip. It was easy to imagine he was all machine when he looked like that, but this, she knew, was simply his own strength. She aimed her other fist straight at his stomach. It hit lower than she'd intended and she could hear him grunt through his mask, but it wasn't low enough to really catch him off guard. He grabbed her other wrist and before she could bring her knee up, he had her on her back on the ground. Her head hit the cold floor of her cell and spun a little.

"Your need more training." He still sounded amused.

He had her completely immobile. Both arms were trapped by his gloved hands and his lower body covering hers left her legs completely useless. She knew how to take down someone bigger than her, but his agility was simply unfair sometimes. No one that stupidly big should be so quick. Her hopelessness wasn't what made her still, though. It was curiosity. Was he smiling behind the mask?

"I didn't have any weapons," she defended herself.

"If you have your mind, you always have a weapon," he retorted. His mask moved from her face as he gazed down her body, scanning her with the same strange power he often used on her mind. I can feel your pain. Low. You're bleeding."

Her eyes widened. "It's nothing!" She found herself struggling against him again.

He ignored her. "You took a blow to the stomach yesterday. It could be an internal wound, I'll take you to the medbay."

She could hardly believe he remembered that. He'd gotten her good with a staff, but she'd managed to knock his knee from under him when he thought she was down. It didn't seem right that despite the apparatus there was a hint of concern in his voice. She didn't feel concern for him. She couldn't afford to.

The hands tight on her wrists loosened, but not enough for her to slip free. He still gave her no choice.

"It's not that!" Rey insisted. She shuddered beneath him as another wave of pain went through her. Her neck and face flooded with color. "I have, it's my...the time during the month in which...women bleed. That's all." She found it was hard for her to explain. No one had ever really explained it much to her, either. No one to talk about it with on Jakku. Now, to be forced to reveal it to him when he was wearing that _thing_. She couldn't look into his mask, not to say this. She looked at anything but him. She wished for her own damn mask as her face stayed red like she'd spent the day in the Jakku sun.

She felt the change in his body when he understood, but he still didn't let her up. "I – do you have what you need?"

It wasn't what she was expecting. "No," she said quietly. She looked at her bed instead of him.

"I'll – you will."

She glanced at him in surprise, only to see the nothing of his mask. What would he say, who would he ask? Rey hoped the horrible Phasma wouldn't be the one to bring her the supplies. Her curiosity was so great that her mind reached out, only to reach his like meeting a brick wall. He would give her nothing, not in this moment. She was really tired of how one-sided this whole prisoner thing was. Without a second thought, she sent a book flying toward his head. He was right, she still had one weapon.

His head rocked to the side with a satisfying thunk. It probably didn't do much with his stupid helmet on, but at least he moved to release her.

She scooted back until her sat against her bed and she pulled her legs to her chest, wrapped her arms around them. She sighed even though the position only relieved the discomfort a little. She kept an eye on him as he hesitated on the floor. He left without saying anything else and closed her cell door behind him.

* * *

She had another visitor not long after. She went to the cell door when she heard it opening. It wasn't the same as knocking, but the slow whirring signaled to her to be ready. She was there to meet them. Her mouth dropped a little.

She hadn't expected it to be him. He wasn't wearing his mask. A tensed part of her relaxed, which was foolish. He could kill just as easily without that hunk of metal.

He handed her a bundle of air plastic sealed gray tubes and cotton strips with adhesive. They were packed not unlike her portions from Jakku, though they looked much more sterile.

"This...should be enough," he said hesitantly. She took them. She was glad to see the tips of his ears turn just a little bit pink. Served him right. "For the pain." He handed her a bottle filled with some kind of pill.

Her thank-you was on the tip of her tongue, but it seemed wrong somehow. She was his prisoner. You don't thank someone holding you against your will. You don't thank someone who was evil. Her eyes found his. He always looked so tortured. She thought if she could look into them long enough she might finally understand him. He looked away. At the book on the floor. "I'll be back tomorrow. We'll work on your technique."

His back was toward her and he was striding away.

"Thank you," she said softly. She knew he heard her when he stopped, turned his head just a fraction back towards her. But then he continued to walk away. The door whirred behind him.

* * *

She'd been ready to take on whoever brought her the supplies, knock into them, or try the fainting trick herself for once. She knew she didn't have a chance when it was him again. Time for her backup plan, then.

Before she started on that, she laid the packages on her bed and examined them. She didn't quite...she'd never had the luxury of such things on Jakku. It only took her a second or two to figure the general idea. She washed and tossed the sodden mess of the one she made into the garbage shoot. The garbage shoot was plan C. She hoped it wouldn't come to that.

She opened a panel on the wall behind the bed. On a ship like this, wiring ran throughout the walls. Perfect for a scavenger like her. It was difficult because she wasn't at the main access panel, but she might manage the same trick as on the Falcon by overloading the power that controlled the cell-way doors. That meant twisting as many wires as she could onto the main line, and it was time consuming. She also had to be careful not to let anything else circuit out that might give away what she was doing.

The lights cut off in her cell. Probably did in this entire block on the ship. "Not good, not good, not good," she whispered to herself as her hands manipulated the wires in complete darkness. She'd even attached the backup generator to the mainline. No more airflow and no lights. She had to be quick. She was lucky she'd stared at them for about a month otherwise she would have been out of luck. "Ouch!" A spark lit up the room and burned her hand from one of the cables, but she heard her cell door begin to whoosh. The black droid guarding her room rolled in, certain lights on its form providing just enough light to see it. It was one of Kylo's personal droids and it was also one of the first things she'd worked on.

Since she'd proven she couldn't be trusted with humans, he'd had the droid bring her her meals, ready to sound an alarm and bring hundreds of troopers to her cell. It had been fun to see the spherical droid balance the tray as it rolled over to her. The very first day she met it she developed a hint of a plan. "Your antenna's bent and you've a small scuff on your paint," she told it. This one was also _not_ fitted with a humility chip. It bent to allow her to fix its imperfections and from there it had been easy. A sequence to disable resistance and a quick reprogram. It would follow her commands now.

"Tell them I went that way," she commanded and the droid beeped its acceptance.

She started to head off in the opposite direction, but not before she went back to the bed and felt around for the packages Kylo brought her. She shoved them into her pockets. Might need them anyway. She was making her way to the hanger once more when she saw them. Her friends. "You came back for me." She was filled with light when she saw them. She'd hadn't even known how little she had left of it these past months, how it drained from her with each passing day with him. She had to escape, she _would_ escape. And she wouldn't meet with him again until it was on her terms.


End file.
